Thoughts of A College Girl

I thought I understood it.
But I didn’t, not really.
I knew the smudginess of it.
The pervasiveness. The passion.
The eagerness of it.
The idea of it,
of you and me.

His words, although meaningless, held more meaning than I’d ever hold true again.

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

Is it wrong to trust in a beautiful lie if it helps you get through life?

I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to love well sometime in the future. This is a terrible way to think. It is no way to live, to wait to love.